Quick update of everything (3-year blogging slump?)

Hey everyone!

Not sure who follows me still but it’s been almost 3 years since my last post in Sept 2020! Time seriously waits for no man (lol).

The last post in this blog was a review and I was not expecting to stop on that note (but a 3-year blogging slump happened, don’t ask me why).

I have been feeling a little (or quite) listless over the past few months.

Many things have changed as compared to three years ago.

To name a few, I got engaged, changed my job within the company, and even will have a house to renovate at the end of 2023.

With all these changes, I started to think back on why I halted on blogging the past 3 years and I could recall the below ‘excuses’ that I had carved into my mind.

My day job is mentally draining (which left me with the lack of creative juices flowing / the energy to even start a draft)
I was having writer’s block (running out of items to review / not knowing what other knowledge I could share with my readers)
I did not know if I could continue doing this or even be able to upkeep this ‘hobby’ of mine (it definitely requires a lot more effort than you think)
I was not in the right headspace, I was procrastinating all the time, and I needed a break.

As the listlessness started, so did my search for a new job because I thought all I needed was another job that will give me meaning or purpose. But now I’m still wondering if there’s another reason that I have yet to realise. (Still figuring it out)

To go through this briefly, my current role is a contract role with an actual end date decided for me and I came into it knowing this (while hoping for a favourable outcome where a conversion to a full-time employee comes into place). Also, the role sounded interesting.

Although I’ve contributed greatly over the past few years in this company, nothing permanent could be promised because of ‘low headcount budget’, ‘recession’ reasons. Yada yada, you get the point.

In my past 4 years as a working adult, something that I learned about myself was that I require affirmation / acknowledgement on the work that I do from time to time. (My love language is also Words of Affirmation, lmao)

While I do get affirmations here and there, my brain knows that a conversion to a permanent role here is a very unlikely (99%) outcome.

That’s when I go, “Is it really worth it to slog my life away trying to perfect the tasks given when I already know the ending in this company”? (… when I should be a quiet quitter, hehe)

I also enjoy learning but the learning opportunities at this company is barely there because of my position as a contractor.

Anyway, I naturally started to ponder about why I started this blog in excitement (back in 2018) and why I loved this space before the working life. I loved to share my thoughts in a world where no one saw me as a certain rank, role, job scope.

You guys see me for what I think and what I share about – which feels quite liberating to me.

No one here cares about how I look, or judges what I wear. To me, that was the true beauty of blogging anonymously.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is:

I’m still trying to figure my life out and that’s okay. I know it’s never going to be smooth sailing but we all move in different paces. Right?

Yes, that’s me trying to reassure myself – and maybe you.

With this first post in 2023, I hope it’s not the last because I am itching to start posting again!

Not that regularly but when I manage to do it, it’s a good sign (more so for me).

Typing my thoughts and feelings down really helps even though you guys don’t know me personally (HAH), but I’m thankful there’s an outlet for me to share such things without judgement.

Let me know how you’ve been too and if this post resonates with you, it’d be good to know that I’m not alone in this struggle.

Anyway, I’ll see you soon!

With 💕,